Season 2, Episode 3.
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Show Notes:

Obtaining and maintaining a a healthy balance between your work and your private life can be though! This episode is part 2 of 2, where we dive into some top tips on how to actively maintain your balance, and your sanity! You'll hear great advice like:

1. Setting Boundaries

2. Taking your Breaks

3. The golden rule - if it's not your name above the door - it's not your problem.

Show Script:

This is part 2 of 2 on a subject that is very close to my heart, which is how to attain a healthy work life balance. 

Last time we gave some context on why its important to have one, and what the signs could be that you don’t we also covered 3 great tips on how to start getting your balance right. With that in mind, today I’d like to walk you through 3 more tips

1. Set and enforce Boundaries

Boundaries are the expectations you set with your bosses and coworkers. The implicit, nuanced rules or both what you will and wont do in the workplace. They are a form of self-care and protection, and help you achieve the best work-life balance you can.

Good Boundaries help you:

• Stay a high performer by not taking more work than you're capable of

• Help maintain your working relationships, but not allow them to become to complicated or over-bearing

• Positively influence Team culture

  • This is especially important as you transition towards leadership positions and beyond

• Avoid Burnout

• Minimize Stress

• Sleep at night

Take the time to figure them out - however, don’t wait too long or you'll look like the bad guy for then breaking what would be an invisibly established expectation. Set 'em early and adjust as you go!

One you know your limits, you have to firmly enforce them. Clear communication is key. "No." is a full sentence, but it can often be helpful to combine with an alternative for the requester:

• "I don't have the bandwidth to take that on, but you should ask Person X - I think they're in a better place with their tasks?".

• "Sounds great, but we need to ask person X where that sits in the priority ladder. If we do that, we can't do Y."

• "I've got too many active tickets now that are High-priority. You'll need to talk to "Manager Name" and let them decide if this takes precedence."

You don't need to elaborate on these, regardless of what people ask. You just need to push back. Refer them to your manager - it's your managers job to manage your workload.

This also applies to barriers about your breaks and free time. What you do in your spare time is your business. Taking PTO does not have to be justified. If you've earned that day, you do not have to defend taking it. I've seen workplaces where people would be asked why their taking PTO, and their manager or whatever would try to convince them not to take it because the reason offered wasn't important in their eyes.

Any reasons, including no reason, is 100% valid to take you PTO, as long as you give enough notice and your not doing it just at the critical point of a deliverable.

2. Take your breaks

Every single one of them!

• Lunchtime

• Evenings

• Weekends

• PTO

• Time-in-lieu accrued

It can be hard. You might feel guilty, or that you have too much work, and don't want to slip behind. You might want to be the person who's always there to solve problems, y'know that like you can always be counted on. A lot of these reasons may make sense to you, but believe me when I tell you that in reality they do not.

In my 12 years in the industry I've seen people not take PTO because their manager repeatedly told them they would be letting the team or project down. I've seen people eat at their desk for lunch (while still working) or even just skipping lunch all together. I've seen people stay late because people who left 'on time' at 6pm where seen as the weak-link in the team, or were not "pulling their weight". I've seen people arrive before the office was even unlocked because they wanted their boss to see them waiting to get inside.

I'm going to be honest with you - Early on in my career I was even one of those people. It never works out. No one will congratulate you. You will not get the notice or reward that you think you'll get. Your over-dedication does not give you special rights or privileges. Its not viable long term. These are all unhealthy, stupid habits.

Time-in-lieu is a special case and often a big one that's missed. It's typically based on a verbal agreement and if you don't take it the very next day, it gets lost from your Manager's mind. You might get fluffed with "Hey, thanks for solving that issue, take 2 hours off tomorrow", but those 2 hours are never specified or agreed upon, or there's ALWAYS an urgent bug or some bullshit and those 2 hours just never happen.

The only thing that happens if you don't take breaks is that you burn out. No one will congratulate for burning out. Take your breaks!

3. The Golden Rule of Work-life Balance

If its not your name above the door; it's not your problem. Turn off the laptop when your workday is over and go home.

You have a responsibility to keep yourself healthy. You may have other responsibilities at home like a partner, kids, pets, etc... Your home-life will always be there for you, but you can leave a job (or be shown the door) in an instant. It’s work-to-live, not live-to-work.

Now there is the very reasonable expectation that you have your work to do, and you have to do it. Like we said earlier - Turn up and Throw down. Do your best. However:

• If your coworker can't get their work done and is constantly pushing their tasks onto your list - ultimately that's a problem to be resolved by your coworker and their Manager - not you.

• Its up to your Project Manager to know peoples requested vacation time and schedule around it. Its up to your Managers to shuffle people and projects to account for sick days or PTO, and even plan for these things to happen when planning work.

• If there's a constant push to work after-hours or weekends, its because your team or dept is understaffed and/or overburdened with work. It's not because you're not working hard enough. Don’t be tricked into doing extra work when in reality they should hire more staff.

Yes, turn up, do your time. Work your very best between your scheduled hours. Remember though, it's not your name above the door, and therefore not your problem.

There’s a famous quote attributed to Martial Art’s legend Jet Li:

You are killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself.

And that’s the real takeaway here:

Take care of yourself!